It feels like it's over

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Thu, 10 May 2012 22:58:37 -0400

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Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:04:50 -0400

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Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:00:33 -0400

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Fri, 27 Apr 2012 02:00:11 -0400

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Fri, 27 Apr 2012 01:55:56 -0400

Like Braille to the Night -Part 1-

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 01:45:04 -0400

Daisy had always been an excellent dreamer, she was very capable of creating situations that would never occur, like staring into someone’s eyes and get lost for a moment, thinking how that was the perfect thing to do at that time and how she wished for that perfection to never end, but, how could she possibly look at someone’s eyes when her own were damaged?

For as far as she could remember, she had no sight but somehow, memories of faces and colors swam in her brain, constantly changing and evolving into perfect little things she thought deserved to exist.

Daydreaming, that’s what it was, that’s what she loved the most, she could do anything and be anything she wanted to with her thoughts and for a long time that was good enough, up until now.

Daydreaming became monotone, like if her imagination died and left blurry memories that only hurt her, for days she had tried to feed that power she had but it became worst each time, darker, emptier and lonely. She figured that she was only growing up, becoming aware of her disatvantage and how she will die alone.

The aquarium was one of her favorite places in the world, she knew that there were fishes behind the glass, that they were captive and fed to be shown as beautiful and happy animals, but she knew how they felt, she knew how lonely they were but she also knew that the emptiness they had was far more vast than her own, the thought of being alone and staying alone was hurtful, she had met men, she dated a few, she had sex with some, but at night, when they were gone, she knew they wouldn’t stay, she knew they liked her for her blindness and how she couldn’t see their flaws, they had no idea that those flaws they tried to hide could have been her hapiness if she could only see them once.

-Mind if I sit?- Daisy woke up astonished, for what she knew, she was at the emptiest part of the aquarium, were sand sharks were fed, she liked it there because people often passed by and ignored her. But not this man, his scent was what she categorized as smoke/clean, she could smell the smoke and soap and some light aftershave, she liked it when men smoked so they wouldn’t criticize her.

-Please do- That was always her response to most questions, a yes, after she heard they sat, she would slowly stand up and walk away to never see them, not once, not again. She could imagine the man; tall, strong, with bad temper and one of those people out there capable of succeding in anything they wanted to.

-Have you seen the penguins today? Three of them died somehow.- She could tell he was not looking at her, but to the glass, she enjoyed being ignored.

-Killed by the aquarium, those penguins were probably old or depressed.- Daisy knew that the comment would kill the romance, but that was not the reason why she showed up there in the first place.

-That sounds painfully honest, and it resambles of our society as well. I’m more like a sand shark, a Paul Sand Shark, not completely beautiful, somehow scary but calm and happy when left alone in the deep, what do you see yourself like?- The question was said as he looked right to her face, she could feel his breath, sweet and warm and his name, Paul, she thought of different names more appropriate for his voice, she enjoyed his voice.

-I will be like a penguin, I’ll get killed when I get old or when someone finds out how depressed I am- Right after she finished that sentence she felt bad, she shouldn’t have said that.

-Why are you depressed?- He asked, not in a pitiful voice, but with interest.

-I’ll die alone.- Daisy answered quitely, he chuckled.

-You were born alone as well, and look how good you’re doing. What if you die alone too? You’ll leave someone with a broken heart and that would probably hurt the most.- Daisy turned her head to him and took off the glasses, silence was left.

-Forgive me if I can’t look at myself.- She was good at being negative, at making people feel bad for her and ruining their days, that poor man would probably think about the blind girl he met that will die alone with 10 cats in her kitchen.

-I can describe you.- That was a new one, she smiled and he took that smile as a yes, so he went on.- You have beautiful skin, it looks soft and delicate, like the silk of your dress. Your black hair looks simply sexual, forgive me- he added when he saw the blush in the girl’s face- I didn’t mean to offend you, but it looks like you had the most memorable night of your life- all that Daisy heard was “bad hair day”- your lips, as far as I can tell, with no make up on look red and kissable, in fact, is like your lips are begging for a kiss, specially with that little gap… right… here…- She didn’t try to stop him, she let him get close, she wanted to feel that man’s lips against hers, taste that smell on his mouth and forget about life for a little while.

Little did she know that the man who kissed her was willing to take her home, to his very own personal aquarium.

Requests on Paul Banks

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:10:38 -0400

I am angry, desperate, tired of a shit load of things and I’d love to forget it all by making up a fanfic, do you have special requests? I’d be glad to write something for you, either spanish or english c:

So you are not alone (:

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:42:08 -0400

thank you! c:

Paul has, SERIOUSLY, ruined my life T_T

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 21:41:55 -0400

I know hun, I know.

obstaclespecialist: visualinfidelity: ……....

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 21:56:00 -0400

obstaclespecialist:

visualinfidelity:

……. exactly

OHMYFUCKINGGOD

that’s what I said ;)

so my favs are: baby banks, swaty banks, nerdy banks y naked...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:54:54 -0400

so my favs are:

baby banks, swaty banks, nerdy banks y naked banks… not in that order.

“please, tell me she didn’t take the bra...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:54:07 -0400

“please, tell me she didn’t take the bra off…”

onedirectionstraighttohell: do u ever type out a post and then u stare at it and ur like ‘no that’s...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:43:12 -0400

onedirectionstraighttohell:

do u ever type out a post and then u stare at it and ur like ‘no that’s too much even for the internet’

oh, honey, please… the internet has seen some serious shit that your post wouldn’t even make it laugh, don’t worry…

Paul.

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 11:21:03 -0400

Can I haz Paul Banks/Julian Plenti gifs please?

(PBJP fan officially requesting help)

Thank you.

Liliana

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 02:14:32 -0400

The title was meant to be my name so I could talk about me, but then, what can I possibly say about someone I barely know and who I deeply detest? I wish there was one interesting thing about myself, intelligence, beauty, amazing voice or being able to play an instrument gracefully, but no, I am just me, a master in the art of overthinking everything and creating and developing situations that make me feel sad, alone and unworthy.

I am incredibly obsessed with being loved and correct, I have a boyfriend, I love him, but in my head he feels disgusted by me, he finds me hideous and boring and is just matter of time before he takes the time to inform me that he has grown apart from me, that he cannot find one single thing that might keep us together… or maybe he will not even take the time, he’d just disappear, not telling me what I did, or what I didn’t, not sure if that is actually bad for I might have a reason and an opportunity to change.

I am good at making mistakes, saying the wrong things and not knowing how to control and express myself in a good way, I’ve been told different things but many different people, some tell me I should calm down, think and then fix things through communication, but then there is also people that tell me I should say what I think at the moment so my mind will not poison me and destroy what I had built.

I am terrified of being left alone and forgotten, I am alone already, I have no friends, literally, I cannot say the name of one person that would there for me if I need it, not my mom, not my boyfriend, they are good at turning their backs on me whenever I find myself in need of others.

Now I can be alone, but it hurts, it is physically painful to know that I was born, I will live and I will die alone, for nobody cares about someone like me.

There is nothing good about me.

I wish I wasn’t me.

At work today

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 21:51:05 -0400

Me: But seriously, he ruined my life, I used to be very normal before he came along...
Her: You cannot hate someone that much
Me: Who says I hate him?
Her: Well, he ruined your life
Me: Do you even know who am I talking about?
Her: .... not really...
Me: Do you even know how his voice sound like?
Her: ... well, no...
Me: Have you looked into his eyes and forgot about life?
Her: dude, he ruined your life...
Me: ... I know....

why did God create him? Was it his very personal and sick way of torturing me, by reminding me each second he could never be mine?

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:52:50 -0400

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Sat, 31 Mar 2012 10:48:59 -0400

rough and severe. Man, I’d do anything he asked me to...

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 21:31:48 -0400

rough and severe.

Man, I’d do anything he asked me to do… I mean it.

sex pose.

Fri, 30 Mar 2012 21:18:17 -0400

sex pose.